Emotional Intelligence and Leadership 19th Public Procurement Forum

Emotional Intelligence and Leadership 19th Public Procurement Forum October 28-31, 2007 Dick Harshberger Hampton Roads, Virginia Presenting Dick Harshberger Presenting

When It Comes To Emotional Intelligence. HOW SAVVY ARE YOU?

1. You are on an airplane that suddenly hits extremely bad turbulence and begins rocking from side to side. What do you do? A. Continue to read your book or magazine, or watch the movie, trying to pay little attention to the turbulence. B. Become vigilant for an emergency, carefully monitoring the stewardesses and reading the emergency instructions card. C. A little of both A. and B. D. Not sure – never noticed

2. You are in a meeting when a colleague takes credit for work that you have done. What do you do? A. Immediately and publicly confront the colleague over the ownership of your work. B. After the meeting, take the colleague aside and tell her that you would appreciate in the future that she credits you when speaking of your work. C. Nothing, it’s not a good idea to embarrass colleagues in public D. After the colleague speaks, publicly thank her for referencing your work and give the group more specific detail about what you were trying to accomplish.

3. You are a customer service representative and have just gotten an extremely angry client on the phone. What do you do? A. Hang-up. It doesn’t pay to take abuse from anyone. B. Listen to the client and rephrase what you gather he is feeling. C. Explain to the client that he is being unfair, that you are only trying to do you’re your job, and you would appreciate it if he wouldn’t get in the way of this. D. Tell the client you understand how frustrating this must be for him, and offer a specific thing you can do to help him get his problem resolved.

4. You are a college student who had hoped to get an A in a course that was important for your future career aspirations. You have just found out you got a C minus on the midterm. What do you do? A. Sketch out a specific plan for ways to improve your grade and resolve to follow through. B. Decide you do not have what it takes to make it in that career. C. Tell yourself it really doesn’t matter how much you do in the course, concentrate instead on other classes where your grades are higher D. Go see the professor and try to talk her into giving you a better grade

5. You are a manager in an organization that is trying to encourage respect for racial and ethnic diversity. You overhear someone telling a racist joke. What do you do? A. Ignore it. The best way to deal with these things is not to react. B. Call the person into your office and explain that their behavior is inappropriate and is grounds for disciplinary action if repeated. C. Speak up on the spot, saying that such jokes are inappropriate and will not be tolerated in your organization. D. Suggest to the person telling the joke he go through a diversity training program.

6. You are an insurance salesman calling on prospective clients. You have left the last 15 clients empty handed. What do you do? A. Call it a day and go home early to miss rush hour traffic. B. Try something new in the next call, and keep plugging away. C. List your strengths and weaknesses to identify what may be undermining your ability to sell. D. Sharpen up your resume.

7. You are trying to calm down a colleague who has worked herself into a fury because the driver of another car has cut dangerously close in front of her. What do you do? A. Tell her to forget about it—she’s OK now and it is no big deal. B. Put on one of her favorite tapes and try to distract her. C. Join her in criticizing the other driver. D. Tel her about a time when something like this happened to you, and how angry you felt, until you saw the other driver was on the way to the hospital.

8. A discussion between you and your partner has escalated into a shouting match. You are both upset and in the heat of the argument, start making personal attacks which neither of you really mean. What is the best thing to do? A. Agree to take a 20-minute break before continuing the discussion. B. Go silent, regardless of what your partner says. C. Say you are sorry and ask your partner to apologize too. D. Stop for a moment, collect your thoughts, then restate your side of the case as precisely as possible

9. You have been given the task of managing a team that has been unable to come up with a creative solution to a work problem. What is the first thing that you do? A. Draw up an agenda, call a meeting and allot a specific period of time to discuss each item. B. Organize an off-site meeting aimed specifically at encouraging the team to get to know each other better. C. Begin by asking each person individually for ideas about how to solve the problem. D. Start out with a brainstorming session, encourage each person to say whatever comes to mind, no matter how wild.

10. You have recently been assigned a young manager in your team, and have noticed that he appears to be unable to make the simplest of decisions without seeking advice from you. What do you do? A. Accept that he “does not have what it takes to succeed around here” and find others in your team to take on his tasks. B. Get an HR manager to talk to him about where he sees his future in the organization. C. Purposely give him lots of complex decisions to make so that he will become more confident in the role. D. Engineering an ongoing series of challenging but manageable experiences for him, and make yourself available to act as his mentor.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING

What is Emotional Intelligence? Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It is about being honest. Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.” It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others. Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It is about being smart with your emotions.

“We are being judged by a new yardstick; not just how smart we are, or by our training and expertise, but also how well we handle ourselves and each other.” Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Working with Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence will be an important key to leadership in the future.

BUT! This conclusion is more a function of it is noand longer enough lead by belief values, thantobased virtueofofwhat power on traces wealone. can see today.

Fundamental Questions 1. What emotional resources do leaders need to thrive amidst chaos and turbulent change? 2. How do leaders create an emotional organizational climate that fosters creative innovations, change, performance, or lasting relationships?

Today’s business/public environments and people issues are far too complex to to a top-down, itreturn is no longer enough topower lead by based leadership. virtuestyle of power alone.

But we still tend to use the old language to describe leadership: bold, brave tough a strong sense of purpose and resolve.

These Attributes Do Not Fit Today's Needs Today’s workforce does not accept the autocratic style often adopted by leaders following historical models of leadership. Leadership has had to evolve to match a growing sense of democracy and independence in the workforce Employees now have far more options and choices than the foot soldiers of yesterday

Leaders now need to manage and lead an empowered workforce and go beyond the consultative, cooperative and democratic styles of today. These new demands include:

Consultation and involvement but leaders still get criticized for not having and communicating a compelling vision and purpose.

Autonomy And Freedom but leaders are still expected to take full responsibility when things go wrong.

Opportunities For Growth, Challenge And Glory but leaders must be on hand to coach and mentor us so that we develop our potential.

Inclusion And Team Spirit but we still want our leaders to give us individual recognition and acknowledgement.

The “nice-is-good” theme. it is no longer enough to lead by virtue of power alone.

Remember! Emotional intelligence is not about being nice all the time. It is about being honest. Emotional intelligence is not about being “touchy-feely.” It is about being aware of your feelings, and those of others. Emotional intelligence is not about being emotional. It is about being smart with your emotions.

It is no longer enough to lead by virtue of power alone.

DISCUSSION “In politics, it is much safer to be feared than to be loved.” Machiavelli – The Prince Do You Agree?

Pope John Paul II Leaders need more than ever to appear nice, and renewed leadership agendas it is no longer enough to lead by are needed. virtue of power alone. Ataturk Gandhi

Emotional Intelligence does fit the classic historical itnot is no longer enough to lead by models of power leadership. virtue of alone.

Today’s Training Will Help You Understand emotional intelligence and why it is important to personal and professional success. Recognize five competencies you can work on to increase your level of emotional intelligence. Listen to and employ your emotions for better decision making. Show you care, and build trust by displaying sensitivity and concern. Use your energy and enthusiasm to motivate others.

The Five Essential Competencies of Emotional Intelligence Self-Awareness Self-Regulation Relate to Ourselves Self-Motivation Empathy Effective Relationships Relate to Others

Personal Benefits of Emotional Intelligence Greater career success Stronger personal relationships Increased optimism and confidence Better health

Professional Benefits of Emotional Intelligence Effective leadership skills Improved communication Less workplace conflict Better problem solving skills Increased likelihood of promotion

Let’s Score the Quiz!

What is Leadership? SELF-ALIGNMENT SELF-ALIGNMENT Self-Understanding Resiliency Customer Orientation Business Acumen Project Leadership Managing Change INTEGRATION INTEGRATION LEADERSHIP IN THE MIDDLE Relationship Skills Communication Coaching/Mentoring Actualizing Vision WORKING WORKINGWITH WITHOTHERS OTHERS

DISCUSSION Note How Many of the Leadership Competencies Rely On High Emotional Intelligence!

The 10 Leadership Competencies SELF UNDERSTANDING: Self-Assessment WORKING WITH OTHERS: Communication Skills: Develop clarity of personal values, purpose and vision Understand and adapt to your audience - helping others learn Develop and execute a personal strategy Express intention clearly and concisely in written communications Demonstrate authenticity through behavioral alignment with values and vision Build collaboration and clearly articulate intention in verbal communications Formal presentation skills Taking accountability for personal and leadership actions Listen for understanding SELF UNDERSTANDING: Resiliency Manage flow of communication/information Willingness to jump in and get things started WORKING WITH OTHERS: Employee Development (Coach & Motivate) Seek opportunities for performance improvement and development Motivating employees to high performance Build off of others ideas for the benefit of the decision Coaching for development and improved performance Maintain appropriate, empowered attitude Manage with appreciation/respect for diversity of individual values and needs Persistence in managing and overcoming adversity Act proactively in seeking new opportunities Delegate tasks as needed and with awareness of employee development opportunities Prioritization, time management Select appropriate staff to fulfill specific project needs and responsibilities WORKING WITH OTHERS: Interpersonal & Relationship Skills ALIGNMENT: Customer Orientation Understand and appreciate diversity of perspective and style Understand and apply customer needs and expectations Participate and contribute fully as a team member Gather customer requirements and input Demonstrate empathy and understanding Build trust and demonstrate trustworthiness Partner with customer in gathering requirements, maintaining communication flow and managing work Set and monitor performance standards

The 10 Leadership Competencies ALIGNMENT: Strategic Business Acumen WORKING WITH OTHERS: Creating and Actualizing Vision Demonstrate ability to ethically build support for a perspective you feel strongly about Create a clear and inspirational vision of the desired outcome Align the vision with broader organizational strategies Holistic view - think in terms of the entire system and the effects and consequences of actions and decisions Translate the vision into manageable action steps Operate with an awareness of marketplace competition and general landscape of related business arenas Communicate vision to enroll/enlist staff, sponsors and customers Influence and Evangelize (sales, negotiation) General business acumen - functions of strategic planning, finance, marketing, manufacturing, R&D, etc. Gather appropriate input Understand individual motivators and decision-making styles and utilize to enroll others Facilitate win/win solutions ALIGNMENT: Project Leadership Set, communicate and monitor milestones and objectives Gain and maintain buy in from sponsors and customers Prioritize and allocate resources ALIGNMENT: Create, Support and Manage Change Manage multiple, potentially conflicting priorities across various/diverse disciplines Improvement Initiatives (three levels: managing your own transition / transformation, managing a corporate (external) change initiative, coaching others through transition) Identify and implement appropriate change initiatives/efforts Maintain an effective, interactive and productive team culture Promote and build support for change initiatives Manage budget and project progress Understand cost/benefit and ROI of change initiatives Manage risk versus reward and ROI equations Manage transition with employees - guiding and supporting the change process Balance established standards with need for exceptions in decision-making Support staff in navigating transitional process/challenges through organizational change Make timely decisions in alignment with customer and business pace Demonstrate and build resilience in the face of change

Self-awareness

“If you understand your own feelings you get a really great handle on how you’re going to interact and perform with others So one of the first starting points is, ‘what’s going on inside of me?’” Chuck Wolfe President, C. J. Wolfe Associates, LLC

Extraversion Sensing Thinking Judging ENERGY SOURCE PERCEIVING FUNCTION JUDGING FUNCTION LIFE STYLE ORIENTATION Introversion iNtuition Feeling Perceiving Your four-letter type represents a preference from each of the above four dichotomies. Here are the sixteen possible combinations: ISTJ ISFJ INFJ INTJ ISTP ISFP INFP INTP ESTP ESFP ENFP ENTP ESTJ ESFJ ENFJ ENTJ Otto Kroeger Associates 1999

The Temperaments: A Summary David Keirsey’s 2 letter Temperament combinations (NF, NT, SJ, SP) give the widest behavioral prediction with the highest accuracy. 4 TYPES TEMPERAMENT QUEST STYLE ACHILLES HEEL ENFJ INFJ ENFP INFP NF Identity Catalyst Guilt ENTJ INTJ ENTP INTP NT Competency Visionary Incompetence SJ Belonging to Stabilizer or Disarray or Meaningful Traditionalist Disorganization Institutions ESTJ ISTJ ESFJ ISFJ ESTP ISTP ESFP ISFP Otto Kroeger Associates 1999 SP Action Trouble Shooter or Negotiator Routine or Inactivity

Descriptors ENERGY LINE “D” “C” Demanding “I” Egocentric Effusive Convincing Superficial Driving Ambitious Pioneering Strong-Willed Forceful Determined Aggressive Competitive Decisive Venturesome Magnetic Political Enthusiastic Demonstrative Persuasive Warm Convincing Polished Poised Optimistic Inquisitive Responsible Trusting Sociable Conservative Reflective Calculating Cooperative Hesitant Low-Key Unsure Undemanding Cautious Mild Agreeable Modest Peaceful Unobtrusive Factual Calculating Skeptical Logical Undemonstrative Suspicious Matter-of-Fact Incisive Pessimistic Moody Critical “S” Phlegmatic Evasive Relaxed Resistant to Change Nondemonstrative Worrisome Careful Dependent Cautious Conventional Exacting Neat Passive Patient Possessive Predictable Consistent Deliberate Steady Stable Systematic Diplomatic Accurate Tactful Open-Minded Balanced Judgment Firm Mobile Active Restless Alert Variety-Oriented Demonstrative Impatient Pressure-Oriented Eager Flexible Impulsive Impetuous Independent Self-Willed Stubborn Obstinate Opinionated Unsystematic Self-Righteous Uninhibited Arbitrary Unbending Careless with Details Hypertense YOU ARE ALL!

Adapted Style D I SC HOW YOU ADAPT D I SC 100 100 90 90 80 80 70 70 60 60 50 50 40 40 30 30 20 20 10 10 0 0 Adapted YOUR “PERFECT PLACE” Natural

Practicing Self-Awareness: Awareness of our own emotional states is the foundation of all the E.I. skills. Learn to “tune-in” to your emotions – they can give you valid information about your responses to stressful situations. Recognize the importance of emotions even in “technical” fields.

Covey’s Covey’s Paradigm Paradigm Covey’s Paradigm

Self-regulation

“If we are in a heightened state of agitation or anger we cannot make good decisions, we cannot reason well.” Christine Casper Communication, Motivation & Management Inc.

Sometimes when you are angry with someone, it helps to sit down and think about the problem.

Practicing Self-Regulation: Accept responsibility for choosing your own emotional responses. Learn to “reframe” stressful situations into ones that are challenging. Be aware of, and learn to manage, your own emotional “triggers.”

Self-motivation

“High performers are those who are able to see with some clarity to what degree they are responsible for a setback and to what degree it may be circumstance or other people, and as a result they are able to be more persistent.” Dr. J.P. Pawliw-Fry Co-Director, Inst. For Health & Human Potential

Practicing Self-Motivation: Recognize that emotions affect your performance. Identify your “explanatory style.” When a setback strikes, resist asking “what’s wrong with me?” Instead, ask “what can I fix?” Work to achieve your “flow state,” being in the moment with work tasks.

Creating Your Own Reality Winners EXPECT to Win!

THE LAW OF EXPECTATIONS Your Personal Paradigm Lets You Create Your Own Reality!

“In Every Adversity Lies the Seed of an Opportunity”

Empathy

Fortune 500 CEO’s

“If people will stop for a moment and put themselves in another person’s shoes it will help them modify their own behavior. It will help them develop relationships with those people.” Darryl Grigg, Ed.D. Co-Developer, American Express Emotional Competence Program

Practicing Empathy: Empathy means recognizing, and responding appropriately to, the emotions of others. By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others. Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as productivity and safety.

Effective Relationships

"And so there's a real pay-off. The people who will become the leaders, the people who will become the star performers, are the ones who have the strengths in the key emotional intelligence abilities." Daniel Goleman, Ph.D. Founder, Emotional Intelligence Services

Creating Effective Relationships: Employ all your emotional competencies – awareness, regulation, motivation, and empathy – to: Influence and persuade others. Build consensus and support for team goals. Motivate and inspire yourself and others to achieve those goals.

Build trust and demonstrate trustworthiness

Trustworthiness Trustworthiness Personal and Organizational Stephen Covey Character Competence Integrity Maturity Abundance Mentality Technical Conceptual Interdependency

Trustworthiness Character Competence Integrity Maturity Abundance Mentality Technical Conceptual Interdependency Stephen Covey Judgment Wisdom

(Emotional Bank Account) DEPOSITS Seek First to Understand Keeping Promises Honesty, Openness Kindnesses, Courtesies Win-Win or No Deal Thinking Clarifying Expectations Loyalty to the Absent Apologies Receiving Feedback and Giving “I” Messages WITHDRAWALS Seek First To Be Understood Breaking Promises Smooth Manipulation Unkindnesses, Discourtesies Win-Lose or Lose-Win Thinking Violating Expectations Disloyalty, Duplicity Pride, Conceit, Arrogance Not Receiving Feedback and Giving “You” Messages

SO?

SO! If you’re a high level professional, you probably needed an IQ of 120 or so simply to get educated and get your job. But now it is more important to be able to persist in the face of difficulty and to get along well with colleagues and subordinates (Emotional Intelligence) than it is to have an extra 10 or 15 points of IQ. This holds true in most professional occupations.